Funny Status Ideas

The original creator of the phrase “common sense” surely didn’t know many people.

I’m planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn't my first choice but my doctor told me I can’t have any biologically.

Twitter is proof enough that people should not be allowed to name themselves.

I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I’m making important life decisions.

Remember when the “M” in “MTV” stood for music and not morons?

I was at the pool today and tried to sneak a quick pee in the deep end. The lifeguard must have seen me. He blew his whistle so loud that I almost fell in.

I didn't give you the finger...you earned it.