Funny Status Ideas

I bet the Fantastic 4 were just pretending to have a girl in the group. "Uh yeah she's just invisible right now. She's totally real though."

Tim Tebow claims he's still training for the NFL. It's always possible they might need a holy waterboy.

The best password cracking software is a pissed off ex.

I’m just going to put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

I knew a girl that used to run outside naked every New Years. Sadly this year that streak came to an end.

The first assembly instruction for all IKEA furniture should be open 1 beer

My bank account is more like a countdown to homelessness.