Funny Status Ideas

Press 1 for someone who probably learned English last year but is going to try and communicate effectively with you anyway

I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.

I have been in parks less shady than you.

If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.

I wish real life had as many ejection seats as cartoons.

At the end of the day, life should ask us, ‘Do you want to save the changes?’

If everything tastes like us, why do we have to die? –Chickens