Funny Status Ideas

Mom always said not to write on walls…but apparently on Facebook you can.

Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person. ..apparently they call THAT stalking.

You should be able to park in an “expecting mother” parking space if you’re waiting for your mom.

You never outgrow sleepovers, they just become coed.

Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.

Orgasms are a lot like pizza. As long as I have pizza I don’t really care if you don’t have any pizza.

If a 747 can carry a space shuttle on its back, I’m calling bulls*** on an overweight baggage charge.