Funny Status Ideas

Quarantine starting to feel like Vegas in my house. Cocktails are acceptable at any hour, I’m losing money by the minute, and I don’t even know what time it is.

Who else has been drunk the entire month of Mapril?

Now's a good time for Walmart to get all those shopping cart front wheels fixed.

A guy at Kroger asked me if I know where Engagement, Ohio is. I said it's between Dayton and Marion.

The Casinos are now offering curbside pickup. Call ahead and they come out and take your money right from your car.

When quarantine is over, let’s not tell some people.

Quarantine tip: you never have to loosen your pants if you never wear any.