Funny Status Ideas

The sign said tipping appreciated. Yeah right, Waitress seemed pretty pissed when she got back up.

On the one hand I feel bad that Jeniffer Lawrence privacy was invaded, but on the other hand...well that hand is busy.

People who don’t understand sarcasm are awesome.

Three words to ruin a man's ego: "Is it in?" Three words to ruin a woman's ego: "I don't know."

A toilet was stolen from the police station. The cops have nothing to go on.

"Last man standing" is the winner in most contests, but the runner up in musical chairs.

Love is like Wi-Fi, you can’t see it, but you know when you’ve lost it.