Funny Status Ideas

Morning has broken. Let's let it go back to bed and sleep it off until it feels better.

I HATE it when I think I'm buying organic vegetables, but when I get home I discover they're just regular donuts.

I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run but, I was still sweating by the end.

Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to prevent me from savagely beating my coworkers with a keyboard.

I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say, "hey, that one looks like an idiot"

Well at least the funeral home won't have to invest a lot of money to preserve Joan Rivers. All the plastic surgery was preparation enough...

If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders