Funny Status Ideas

If you can't look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you probably still are.

If you want to impress me with your car, it had better be a food truck.

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today, and nextday.

‪I love getting cute morning texts like “your order has been shipped“‬

Kim Jon Un is the type of leader to fake his death then punish everyone that celebrated.

I need to social distance myself from the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Ever wonder how many news reporters, reporting from home, aren't wearing pants?