Funny Status Ideas

With the new iPhone bending in people's pockets it has left hipsters debating between the new iphone and skinny jeans.

I eat the first half of a burrito to get full, I eat the second half to teach myself a lesson

If you're ever attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.

It used to be acceptable to make fun of fat people, and now, we're all fat. I hear karma fat is the hardest to lose.

I believe pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens

The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella must have felt at midnight

If Facebook isn’t a drug then someone please explain to me why I sneak into the bathroom at work to use it.