Funny Status Ideas

If you're ever attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.

It used to be acceptable to make fun of fat people, and now, we're all fat. I hear karma fat is the hardest to lose.

I believe pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens

The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella must have felt at midnight

If Facebook isn’t a drug then someone please explain to me why I sneak into the bathroom at work to use it.

They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.

I like to reply to late night snapchat selfies with "what the f*&% is that behind you?!" just because I know the sender has no way to review the photo and will spend the rest of their night scared out of their minds.