Funny Status Ideas

Every selfie posted should come stamped with a number like limited edition prints. "Attempt 14 of 25".

Getting over body issues is a like getting over a fear of heights. The trick is not to look down.

Some people need more than a beauty sleep. They need a beauty hibernation.

OK. Who called it Scientology and not Cruise control?

Lawns: You cut them, then water them so they grow just so you can cut them again. This does not make sense.

Spoiler alert: Your '97 Nissan Sentra doesn't need one.

All I'm saying is you don't see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.