Funny Status Ideas

Taking back your ex is like buying your crap back from your own garage sale

Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.

I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes

The adult version of Operation is trying not to break a tortilla chip while dipping it into a jar of salsa

Hey girls, here is an idea. Instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Besides Watermelon, there should be Firemelon, Airmelon and Earthmelon: The four Elemelons.

My buddy asked me the other night if he could crash on my couch. I had to explain to him that I'm married now and that's where I sleep.