Funny Status Ideas

Helped a Mexican ex-gangster get a job today... and I STILL got an 'F' !?! ... Apparently that is not how you "Write an Essay"!

I would rather listen to an album recorded by an actual pitbull than Pitbull.

A buttload is an actual measurement for drug smugglers.

I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave.

They should create an app that makes your cellphone go “ahhhhhhhh” when you plug it in.

People are still poaching elephants in this day and age!? I can't even poach an egg!

Face tattoos are like regular tattoos except face ones let everyone know you’d rather not have a job where you pay taxes.