Funny Status Ideas

My friend told me all women are the same, I told him that was a broad generalization.

I haven't slept for three days, because that would be too long

Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.

Just found some old sex coupons I got from an ex for my b-day. Any of you ladies take competitor’s coupons?

I once met a guy who was addicted to huffing brake fluid. He said he could stop any time.

If you want to insult deaf people you should watch your mouth

I've spent the past four years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer, but no one will do it.