Funny Status Ideas

Every Chrysler commercial should begin with them apologizing for the PT Cruiser

Always make sure to tell your wife you are going to the hardware store before walking out the door saying "gonna go get some trim"...

I've made a business of selling prayer mats on top of landmines. Prophets are going through the roof.

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a normal pigeon.

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said "I can't complain."

I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust.

I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade"