Funny Status Ideas

I once dated a girl that was so bipolar that her mood ring acted like a strobe light.

What do Eskimo's get from sitting on a block of ice? Polaroids.

In the interest of fighting the childhood obesity epidemic, I've decided to eat all of the Halloween candy that I bought.

I need to get my birthday suit taken in.

Did you know a large group of baboons is called a Congress? Explains a lot doesn't it?

I’d be 100x more motivated if Samuel L. Jackson yelled at me to get things done.

Do people who run voluntarily know that we're not food anymore?