Funny Status Ideas

You can tell a lot about a woman's mood by her hands. For instance, if they are holding a gun she's probably angry.

Bacon: low-carb and gluten-free. I think I just found the staple to my next diet.

Tattoo artists should have built-in spell check.

Best of luck explaining why you’re still single at Thanksgiving and Charles Manson isn’t

20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the “bad part of town,” meaning there was no 4G in that area.

I love a good nap. Sometimes it's the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.

How do they even grow a boneless chicken?