Funny Status Ideas

If you're feeling too good about yourself, go ask a 5 yr old to guess your age. That should even things out.

You add about as much value as the "g" in lasagna.

I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I’m making important life decisions.

My wife told me a turducken was as close to a threesome as I’m ever going to get.

I think retail therapy should be covered by health insurance. It is therapy after all.

Turkey, its all about dat baste, bout dat baste.

I don't know why I'm disappointed when I find out a celebrity crush is married. As if that was our only obstacle to being together.