Funny Status Ideas

I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I’m making important life decisions.

My wife told me a turducken was as close to a threesome as I’m ever going to get.

I think retail therapy should be covered by health insurance. It is therapy after all.

Turkey, its all about dat baste, bout dat baste.

I don't know why I'm disappointed when I find out a celebrity crush is married. As if that was our only obstacle to being together.

As a nation, we may be spending our children's money, but at my house, it's the other way around.

I got in touch with my inner self today. That's the last time I ever buy cheap toilet paper!