Funny Status Ideas

I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children don’t know very much about children.

The holiday season is a time for family…but let’s try to enjoy it anyway.

I wish the "Do not ask me again" option existed in real life.

I didn’t give you the finger. You earned it.

Is it hibernation time yet?

There’s a thin line between “I should post that to Facebook” and “I should talk to a therapist about that.

I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it though.