Funny Status Ideas

So I see that the former head of the CIA is defending an enhanced interrogation technique known as “rectal rehydration”. Should we really have a problem with this? After all, these are Enema Combatants we’re dealing with...

I've never had a better karate instructor than a spider web.

Women belong in the kitchen. Men belong in the kitchen. Everybody belongs in the kitchen. The kitchen has the food.

I hate public speaking. People should just keep their mouths shut.

I saw a cop car with a red nose and antlers pull over someone this morning... Instead of giving you a ticket, Does this cop just put your name on the naughty list?

I’ve robbed banks before and they’re never getting their pens back.

I’m still kind of pissed they never told us how to get to Sesame Street.