Funny Status Ideas

Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.

So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I'd say it's been a success.

The problem with reading a good book is that you want to finish the book but you don’t want to finish the book.

I wish we could donate body fat to those in need.

Costco: The most expensive place in the world to save money.

Why do medications always have side effects like ‘anal leakage’ & ‘suicidal thoughts’? Why not ‘invisibility’ or ‘spontaneous orgasms’?

Got to work today, right at the crack of Dawn. Sure wish that lady would wear a belt.