Funny Status Ideas

Wifey says I should use the term "make love" instead of "f*ck.". What the make love is she talking about?

I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know...

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make 1 wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit.

This is the third time someone in Liam Neeson’s family has been abducted, they really need to stop leaving the house.

Did you ever get the feeling that the world is a tuxedo and you're a pair of brown shoes?

When crossword lovers die they bury them 6 down and 3 across.