Funny Status Ideas

The bottle of Pepto Bismol say’s 4 out of every 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one of them enjoys it?

The prosecutor calls it “peeping tom”. My defense lawyer calls it a “highly active member of the neighborhood watch.”

My mother always told me as a child that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now as an adult I’m facing sexual harassment charges. Gee, Thanks mom!

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and then six months later you have to do it all over again.

I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.

Hunting is easier for vegans because it’s easier to sneak up on plants.

I just got the results of my IQ test. It came back negative.