Funny Status Ideas

If at any point in your life you feel useless, just remember there are people on the BMW assembly lines that install turn signals.
The reason grilled ham & cheese sandwiches and tomato soup go so well together is because it's basically pizza split in two.
You can tell the Beastie Boys were really close because they would finish each other’s sentences.
All cookies are "bite size" if you believe in yourself enough.
Arguing with people in the comments section is like crack for me. I don't do it.
Deaf people don't have safe words, they use stop signs.
I found my first grey pubic hair today. Normally things like this don't bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
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