Funny Status Ideas

I kinda wish Dolly Parton sang 10-2 Instead

The problem with daylight savings time is around midnight you start to feel like you're struggling to stay awake before you realize it's only 7:00 p.m.

I will be mailing out a W-2 on January 5th for everyone who was up in my business this year.

Me: I can do whatever I want through Christ who strengthens me Attorney: ok but again, as your lawyer I strongly advise you to not say that in court

Florida is just a humid Walmart

A friend lost two fingers in saw accident. He asked the surgeon if he would be able to write with that hand. Surgeon replied: Maybe, but I wouldn’t count on it.

Walmart is giving away free school clothes to anyone that can outrun security.