Funny Status Ideas

Wine with crackers and cheese is basically just the classy version of beer and nachos..

Buying an airline ticket is like paying shipping and handling for yourself

Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn’t doing his part of the chores around here.

If you ever go camping be sure to bring along someone who has a good camera and can take good pictures. Bigfoot obviously avoids people like this.

I was ridding a horse yesterday & got thrown off; I thought I was going to die. Thank goodness the Wal-Mart greeter saw what happened & ran over to unplug it...

I always thought putting your finger on someone's lips and saying "Shhhhhh... Not another word" was super-romantic; apparently the judge didn't think so.

I wish my car had two horns. One for “thank you” and one for “I hate you”