Funny Status Ideas

My wife needs to have a kidney transplant and I'm afraid she'll reject it. After all, she's been rejecting my organ for the last ten years.

Cars need “sorry” lights people can activate when they do something stupid.

I don’t like the idea of bacteria in my yogurt so I mix it with hand sanitizer. It cuts down on the taste, but I sleep better at night

We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they’ll dig the wrong way.

What if dogs bring the ball back because they think you enjoy throwing it?

It's impossible to get a parking ticket if you don't have windshield wipers.

I saw a man get his watch stolen rite from under his nose. What a strange place to keep a watch.