Funny Status Ideas

Damn girl are you a Prius because you’re giving me no sounds or indications that you’re turned on right now.

Hello and welcome to DeVry orientation. Sign-in sheets are on the left, Steve is passing out your diplomas, thanks & congrats class of 1:47

Nothing good has ever come from answering a call from a blocked phone number.

Have you ever wondered how long it would take for a giraffe to throw up?

Tried to donate blood today, but they had too many questions about where I got it.

Shaking my cell phone to "Auto-Rotate" the screen brings me back to my childhood playing with a "Etch A Sketch!"

Getting another set of teeth would be much more useful at age 60 than age 6.