Funny Status Ideas

Nothing good has ever come from answering a call from a blocked phone number.

Have you ever wondered how long it would take for a giraffe to throw up?

Tried to donate blood today, but they had too many questions about where I got it.

Shaking my cell phone to "Auto-Rotate" the screen brings me back to my childhood playing with a "Etch A Sketch!"

Getting another set of teeth would be much more useful at age 60 than age 6.

I’m going to retire and live off my life savings. What I’ll do the second week, I have no idea.

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up!