Funny Status Ideas

Jack The Ripper would be a great name for a fitness trainer.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

Bought a weight loss exercise video. After watching it 3 times a day for 3 months I haven't lost crap.

Just blew the sugar off my donut. Dieting is hard!

A garage sale is just a garbage sale where the "b" is silent.

FYI strawberry shampoo does not taste nearly as good as it smells.

I wish my wallet came with free refills.