Funny Status Ideas

Your lights are on but I see someone’s been playing with your dimmer switch.

The friend-zone is the only place that has more deflated balls than a patriots game.

They say your memory is the first thing to... something...

I shook the vending machine until my chips fell, so yeah, I’m a hunter-gatherer

Ice skating is just walking in cursive.

I wonder what the inventor of the drawing board said when his first design didn’t work out.

To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.