Funny Status Ideas

If you are ugly with pretty eyes, this is your moment.

Always give 100% unless you are giving blood.

What's the correct ratio of gunpowder to essential oils? I want this bath bomb to be perfect.

You can't expect a President who slept with porn stars to care about infectious diseases.

‪I heard the government is putting chips inside of people. I hope I get Doritos .

If you're refusing to wear a mask around other people due to concerns that your brain won't be getting enough oxygen, I think that ship already passed.

‪Remember Darth Vader took his mask off once and die within minutes. ‬