Funny Status Ideas

It’s all fun and games until they reply to your text with a phone call.

Autocorrect changed “you’re so wise” to “you’re so wide”, and now I need to find a good hiding spot before my wife comes home.

I’m going to start telling women that I’m available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.

The original name for Prozac was going to be Sadvil.

You know you are desperate for an answer when you look at the second page of Google.

I once overdosed on Viagra. My wife took it really hard.

What would I give the woman who has everything? Well, my phone number for a start.