Funny Status Ideas

If I had a crystal ball to see 5 years in the future, I would have 2020 vision

I’m a really down to earth guy because, you know, gravity.

I can't drink champagne anymore after having a really bad experience. We had it at my wedding.

I was in the gifted program in school too! Though my school called it "Secret Santa".

On the internet, you have a better chance of surviving The Oregon Trail than a trip to WebMD!

Okay, I can't take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?

Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake.