Funny Status Ideas

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Nothing bad has happened, but I’m trying to be proactive.

There's always cake to celebrate happy moments, but I really think cake would do better during the bad times. Got fired? Have a cake.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

I have lots of great personality traits. Or as my doctor calls them, symptoms.

If swimming is great exercise, explain whales to me.

Multitasking? I’m not even good at unitasking.

The reason swans mate for life is because they don't talk.