Funny Status Ideas

This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: "Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken."

Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail.

Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you’ll get what you want.

If I was Miley Cyrus' grandma, I'd demand everyone refer to me as "Granna Montana".

I treat people exactly how I want to be treated. I leave them alone.

The best nicknames are the ones you don’t even know you have.

Dad: Son, we have to talk. Me: What is it? Dad: You were adopted. Me: Oh my god… Really?! Dad: Yup. Get ready. They’re picking you up in about an hour.