Funny Status Ideas

You can call someone who makes prosthetics a professional body builder

I’m in no shape to exercise.

Having a dry wedding is a great way to reduce the number of RSVP’s.

There should be an award for anyone who actually finishes a tube of chapstick.

The worst way to locate your glasses is by the sound they make when you step on them.

I accidentally typed my symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD and it told me I have Gary Busey.

The only math I’m good at is adding insult to injury.