Funny Status Ideas

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are referees at a WWE match.

So far I haven’t lost any weight eating these Thin Mints, but I’m committed to this diet 100%!

Ever talk to someone so stupid that you can hear them misspelling words?

You can’t make everyone happy. Unless you’re a jar of Nutella. Then you probably can.

You trust me holding your child? Do you know how many iPhone screens I’ve cracked?

Why do they call it "hiring a hitman" and not "ordering takeout"

Banning us to the couch is not as bad as you believe it is ladies. It makes us feel manly. Like we’re camping. With an angry bear close by.