Funny Status Ideas

Mirrors don’t lie. And, lucky for me, they don’t laugh either

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

I like to think I've taught Capital One a valuable lesson about handing out credit cards to just anybody.

If I were to quit my job today and become a psychic, I would advertise with a sign that reads, “Voted best psychic of 2016!

Gonorrhoea sounds like a medicine to treat Diarrhoea

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Have you guys seen the new documentary about white trash? I only saw the trailer.