Funny Status Ideas

I like to think I've taught Capital One a valuable lesson about handing out credit cards to just anybody.

If I were to quit my job today and become a psychic, I would advertise with a sign that reads, “Voted best psychic of 2016!

Gonorrhoea sounds like a medicine to treat Diarrhoea

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Have you guys seen the new documentary about white trash? I only saw the trailer.

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are referees at a WWE match.

So far I haven’t lost any weight eating these Thin Mints, but I’m committed to this diet 100%!