Funny Status Ideas

I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn’t even eat them?

I don’t have a problem with friends who ask to borrow money. I love a good laugh as much as the next guy.

Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often

Tip to get out of jury duty: Begin every answer with “According to the prophecy.

Apparently, the average person looks at their phone 150 times a day. Not me. I look at it just once. For about 12 hours.

Mirrors don’t lie. And, lucky for me, they don’t laugh either

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?