Funny Status Ideas

In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on.

How is it that people like Hitler can find their soul mate, and I can't even find that last bag of potato chips in the cabinet?

This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies.

42% of strippers are working their way through college according to the latest pole.

I’ll rise, but I won’t shine.

Half the journey is knowing where you’re parked.

Have you ever listened to somebody speak and wonder who ties their shoelaces for them?