Funny Status Ideas

If you can’t say something nice about someone, you probably work at the same place I do.

Lebron better than Jordan? Phsshh, we can talk when Lebron saves the Looney Toons from an Alien Race.

I've dieted and worked out enough to realize that the only way I'm getting smokin' hot is by getting cremated.

It's impossible to tip-toe around without activating your T-Rex arms.

You can see my left over Scrabble tiles IDGAF.

Technology is getting crazy. Apple has now taken the clock on my phone and put it on my wrist with a band! I bet 50 years ago they never would of thought that was possible!

You can say whatever you like about Kleptomaniacs. They can take it.