Funny Status Ideas

Apple’s iPhone is the reason I didn’t feel the need to carry around a watch anymore. Now they want me to buy a watch.

If I'm ever on life support, unplug me. Then plug me back in and see if that works.

I’m 100% done with today and already about 72% done with tomorrow.

We all have that friend who acts innocent but understands all the dirty jokes.

I was in a bathroom and I saw a sign that said employees must wash hands. I waited a minute and no one came to wash my hands so I did it myself.

If you can’t say something nice about someone, you probably work at the same place I do.

Lebron better than Jordan? Phsshh, we can talk when Lebron saves the Looney Toons from an Alien Race.