Funny Status Ideas

My fitness goal is to weigh what I told the DMV I weigh.

When plastic bags become currency, I will be king.

Axe body spray is like the mosquito repellent for humans

Why do they ask you "Please press 1 for English, then put you with someone who's accent is so thick you can't understand them?

If your name is on the building, you’re rich. if your name is on your desk, you’re middle-class. if your name is on your shirt, you’re poor.

A group of mistakes is called a life.

I would really love to see two mimes arguing.