Funny Status Ideas

Massaging the shoulders of the person in front of you at the Redbox machine will usually help them make up their mind faster.

Farted on the bus today and 4 people turned around. Felt like I was on The Voice.

If your kids didn't like hunting for eggs they wouldn't be here.

Men look at a woman’s behind and think “Wow! What an ass.” Women look at a man’s face and think the very same thing.

Sorry to break this to you, but there's no future in time travel.

I wonder if there is such a thing as positive version of Tourette's syndrome. You know, instead of yelling curse words they scream things like "Have a nice day!" or "I love that outfit!"

Don’t jump to confusions.