Funny Status Ideas

Have you ever seen a baby horse trying to stand for the first time? That's what I look like getting out of bed in the morning.

I can't afford to go on a vacation, so I'm just going to drink until I don't know where I am.

Who decided to call them conjugal visits instead of guilty pleasures?

I wonder how long it will take this police sketch artist to realize I'm describing him.

I don't always look things up on my phone, but when I do it's to prove people wrong.

What a boring fight. "I ordered a fight on pay-per-view and got Dancing With The Stars."

A good lawyer knows the law. An excellent one knows the judge.