Funny Status Ideas

Apparently people will pay to be subjected to medieval torture devices if you call the place a "gym."

Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently security doesn't appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.

There's no "i" in "team" but there's an "i" in "Tim", and my friend Carlos pronounces it "team" so there you go.

If puppies could talk I would never even want to try and make human friends ever again.

I swear 90% of the contacts in my phone are useless.

You know that feeling when the fireworks are over and it's time to go home? Being an adult is basically just like that, but all the time.

Running behind is my cardio.