Funny Status Ideas

Before criticizing my taste, remember that I like you.

Sometimes I’ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I’ll be like, “oh no, that can’t be right.

“Do you have a charger?” is the new “Could I bum a cigarette?”

I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

I know my job is secure because no one else wants it.

Do Starbucks employees take coffee breaks?

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.