Funny Status Ideas

Apparently putting Alka-Seltzer in my mouth while getting baptized and pretending I’m being possessed by the devil is not funny.

I, put commas, in, weird places, so that, you, will, read, this, like William, Shatner.

A cactus is really just an aggressive cucumber.

The only time the word incorrectly isn’t spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled incorrectly.

I wish I was as fat as the first time I thought I was fat.

Life should be more like Hockey. If somebody pisses you off, you beat the crap out of them, then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes.

Facebook should have a limit on times you can update your relationship status, after 3 it should default to ‘unstable’