Funny Status Ideas

Why is it called cliffhanger and not

How the hell can Dora call herself an explorer if she only goes to places already on the map?

I guess “Trying to be” isn’t really the answer the doctor was looking for when he asked if I was sexually active.

I'm pretty sober, but I'm prettier drunk.

I'm taking up photography because it's the only hobby where I can shoot people and cut off their heads without going to jail.

I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Million dollar idea: A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell "I'm just cooking!"