Funny Status Ideas

My mother taught me all about the circle of life. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My parents had me when I was very young.

Cup holders are just cups for cups.

Apparently somebody in Detroit gets stabbed every 52 seconds…sucks to be that guy.

Facebook should change its name to Acquaintance Birthday Reminder

If you try to pronounce "lmao" you sound like a French cat.

Yes, English pronunciation can be weird, though through tough thorough thought it can be understood.