Funny Status Ideas

Life is like a box of Legos with a picture of what it’s supposed to look like, but no assembly instructions.

I eat tacos over a tortilla. So when stuff falls out...BOOM! Another Taco.

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

I demand a "that's what she said" button be added to Facebook.

Four years ago I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today I asked her to marry me. She said "no" both times.

I remember a day when people would say I was wise beyond my years. I think my years have not only surpassed my wisdom I truly believe my wisdom has been lapped a few times.

Don't you wish karma was like pizza and could be delivered in under 30 minutes?