Funny Status Ideas

If guys were smart, they'd forget the single's bars and watch the supermarket for girls who buy frozen dinners and cat food.

It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.

"Lazy" is a strong word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Whenever a guy asks me "Don't I know you from somewhere? You look familiar." I always respond with, "Yes, I was the receptionist at the STD clinic. Nice to see you again."

Cell phones should have an extra 'End Call' button that sounds like a handset being slammed down into the telephone cradle so the person on the other end of the line knows it is SO OVER.

"It's cute, but it really doesn't go with my outfit" - How I just got out of holding a baby

It has been said that money talks. Mine usually says, "Goodbye!"