Funny Status Ideas

I wish I could lose weight as fast as I lose motivation

I wonder how many strangers have stories about me

My leadership experience is pretty much limited to those three consecutive days in first grade when I was line leader.

I’ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.

My life coach told me to just let the clock run out.

In grade school it’s called bullying but when you get older it’s referred to as upper level management.

Yes Officer, I carry a knife, but that’s just in case I find a cake.